Today, February 19, is my day of birth. I am a young thirty nine years old, but my inner soul feels twenty six. Not twenty one, but twenty six. It feels good to be alive and to be living, but I shouldn’t have been born.
I mean, seriously, I wasn’t supposed to be born.
Eleven years ago, my parents told me about my almost abortion story. That’s right, they were going to abort me. My refugee Vietnamese Mother who didn’t speak English was already overwhelmed with her two kids under three years old. She didn’t have enough energy, love, money and know- how to take care of three.
She cried as she told me the story. My Dad and I sat in a kumbaya circle with her and cried along. They told me how much they loved me and how thankful they were that God saved me.
“How? What do you mean?” I managed to sob out in between my whimpering.
“We were in the room waiting for the doctor. Your Dad stood on my left side as I laid on the table. They said they were going to suck you out, suction abortion. We didn’t have any other choice. We didn’t have money and could barely feed your brother and sister,” my Mom said, “the doctor came in and sat down in between my legs.”
I couldn’t believe what my Mom was telling me. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling that great internally during that time as I blamed the world for the mess around me. The blame game got old, the older I became.
“Your Dad held my hand as the doctor prepared. Then a nurse walked in.”
“You have a call, Doctor,” the nurse said.
“Tell them I’ll call them back in fifteen minutes,” the doctor responded.
Suction abortion’s take about three to ten minutes total.
“It’s an emergency,” the nurse replied.
At that moment, my Mom knew. As scared as she was of the unknown, as lonely as she felt in this new country with no support system, she knew what to do as the doctor got up to leave the room.
My Mom looked at my Dad and told him that we needed to keep me. That was a sign from God, “I can’t do this, we have to keep it,” she told him.
It was me.
I was saved from being sucked out of my mother’s uterus by a vacuum because of an emergency phone call. But it wasn’t just the phone call, it was the nurse who came in at the Divine time to her insistence that it was an emergency. Instead of taking the doctor’s response as the final answer.
Do you believe in miracles? Before I was even born into this physical world, my story, my life had always been one.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”- Albert Einstein
To see life as a miracle is to believe that we are miracles in the making. That each one of us has and are miracles. To see things in a light way, one must become light. What if all you see is darkness around you?
If darkness is all you see around you, then close your eyes. Sit in the stillness of your truth. Dive into the deepest, darkest parts of you to find your light. There is light in there, it’s there, you have to trust me.
I know this, because I’ve been where you have been. So have many of my clients. I had to strip away the darkness from my eyes by stripping away the layers I believed made me, me. I focused so much on my faults that I wasn’t able to see all the beauty I held within me.
I had to go back into remembering who I truly am. We all have love because we are all love.
On this day of birth, I feel complete from the inside out. After piecing together thirty eight years of puzzle pieces, I can finally take a step back to see the bigger picture on this thirty ninth year.
I am solid in my truth in who I am and what my purpose is on this Earth. Do you believe in miracles? If not, your mantra for today is, I am a miracle.
Start today. Today is another puzzle piece for your bigger picture. We are all on different timelines in figuring out our purposes, our missions, our beliefs and all that jazz and that’s okay. If we were all the same, the world would kind of be a boring place, right?
Repeat I am a miracle, until you neutralize the negative thoughts, spaces and beliefs in your subconscious mind. This isn’t about faking it until you make it. This is about stating it until you believe it.
I am a big fan of having my own team of professionals to guide and assist me in my journey. If you are having trouble seeing the light in your life, please consider reaching out to a professional in the fields of emotional, mental and spiritual assistance to help guide you in recognizing your inner light. It is difficult to do it alone, it is much easier when one has the support of a guide. I send you a blessing of hope in your journey. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.