From A Former Hustler

“Carol, you’d hammer a square peg into a circle hole. You would make it fit,” a good friend of mine told me years ago.

He wasn’t wrong.

I used to hustle hard. I used to be that person with a strong determination to make anything and everything work. I didn’t care if it was a fit or not. I would mold it into a mission and make it work.

Looking back at my past relationships and mortgage banking career, I exerted way more energy than I should have. Things and relationships that were not in alignment with my highest good. I was living on a very low vibrational dimension. I pushed and became the creator of the chaos in my life. I treated my mind, body and soul like crap because I fed it poison.

I was drinking, smoking and snorting whatever was in cocaine form into my body. Just to keep up with the hustle of being a mortgage banker. I fed my mind with gossip and negativity from those around me. I was a walking ball of empathic energy which allowed others’ vibrations in. I’m pretty sure I had an invisible sign that read, ‘take all you need!’ Which people did because I gave it all away. Boundaries were as foreign to me as Egypt was.

As I look out the train window at Austria’s countryside on my way to Vienna, I don’t even know who that person was anymore.

For the last five years, I’ve raised the bar to heights that even those around me have called me crazy. I’ve isolated myself in the center of crowds in cities around the world. Just so that I could shed layer after layer of myself. I’ve gone to the depths of my soul by looking at me, all of me. All the ugly layers I hated; the forms, thoughts, judgments, shame, self hatred to release layer after layer.

I’ve sobbed on floors around our world (for a recovering OCD individual, that says a lot about my awakening period), because the emotional and physical pain inside of me shot through every cell and ricocheted through my heart. I wanted it out and gone.

The decision to focus on my own healing along with understanding wasn’t one that came easy. The mirror work was painful and so was the truth about me.

Once I broke through to neutralize the fear that gripped me, the releasement of the experiences, beliefs, limited beliefs, misperceptions and conformed ideals became easier. Over time, that is.

Healing is a process where we remember who we once were. It is the remembrance of the spark of God inside each one of us, not these layers where we think and believe make us who we are. So we abide by our own limitations. Most of us place these limitations on our own, so that it caps the abilities each one of us have to help not only ourselves, but the world.

I used to hustle so hard, now I just align myself with the Universal flow. I am in the flow with the Oneness of Source.

Say what?

I am in the flow with the Oneness of Source. Okay, who’s Source, right? Source is the originator of all things imaginable. An energy which can create black holes to swallow up entire Universes. An energy that created a singular cell that which became God. God, the creator of life on our planet and the duality of our lives. As duality of good and bad, light and dark exists down here, it also exists in the other dimensions and realities the human eye cannot see, but most can feel.

Even the most logical and process driven people in our world have felt the energetic shift in the last four to five years. I’ve met them and have been fascinated by their stories. Stories where they could no longer ignore their empathic and intuitive abilities. It’s come knocking and many people don’t know if or should they open the door.

We fear what we do not understand.

How do you align so hard?

  1. Let go. What is not in your control, let it go. Repeat after me, “I let it go, so it can be free. So I can be free.”
  2. Trust you cannot force the external to be what it is not.
  3. Believe that you are the creator of your life.
  4. Own your causes and all the effects in your life.
  5. Ask for forgiveness for the causes you’ve put out into the world and for the Universe/Source/God/Your Higher Power to neutralize it.
  6. Begin again.

Inner peace does not happen overnight. It takes time. It takes action on your part to be mindful of your thoughts, words, actions, and non-actions. To have an inner stillness in a world that sometimes feels like it’s crumbling in chaos is an art.

Reflect on the options of the experiences presented to you. The Universe is not testing you. It’s showing you exactly who you are. It’s up to each one of us to tap in to the beautiful spark of love inside of us.

How do you align without exerting so much effort? Begin with step one above. Repeat it until you are able to let go and trust that the alignment of Source has your back. Once you are able to discern what is happening outside of you, you can then begin to co-create with the invisible worlds.

It’s taken me years to learn the art of being in the state of flow. I am in allowance of alignment. I sit in stillness in the middle of chaos. I follow and understand the light language spoken to me by the Universe anywhere and everywhere I go.

There is no more pushing or forcing to make things happen to add resistance in my path. If it doesn’t feel right, it is not in alignment. I do not go. I do not attend. I do not meet. If it feels right and good, then it’s a hell yes and I walk the line, ley line.

Blessed be.

The state of flow requires Carol to recharge in different energy vortexes and ley lines around our world. She can be reached at

I write about practical spirituality and things that go bump in the night. Buy my book, Holy Sage for the Soul

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