‘Someone can be madly in love with you. and still not be ready. they can love you in a way you have never been loved. and still not join you on the bridge. and whatever their reasons you must leave. because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. you never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. there is more extraordinary love. more love that you have never seen. out here in this wide and wild Universe. and there is the love that will be ready.’ — Nayyirah Waheed
“There is a bridge on the other side of the city by the river, the one with the golden cables, meet me there at sunset okay?” he asked as he held her manicured hands into his, close to his lips.
She nodded her head and looked up from underneath those full lashes of hers, through those hazel eyes that made his heart skip a beat and his soul melt just a little. He placed his lips on her forehead and hugged her tighter and then let go. He knew in his heart and soul that she would meet him there on the bridge, so he walked away with a smile and a knowing that she would show.
She stood there and watched him walk away, bewildered that he never turned around to check if she had even left.
He tugged on his lavender pinstripe button down shirt as he walked towards the bridge, not knowing if he was sweating from excitement or nervousness or both, the sun peeking out from behind the skyline of the city. The sun’s setting, she’s on her way, he told himself as he focused on one step at a time, for all he wanted to do was run to that bridge where his love was.
As he approached the bridge, which was held up by the golden cables, he searched for her and could not find her. So he stood at the edge of the bridge, looked at his watch and then he closed his eyes and inhaled, for he knew when he would open them, she would be standing there on the other side. He exhaled and then counted down from 5 under his breath and when he got to 1, he felt a tug at his heart and opened his eyes. She was standing there at the very end of the bridge in a summery rose pink dress that hung off her shoulders. Oh, my, he thought, she looks so beautiful.
He started to walk towards her, to the middle of the bridge and with each step, he wiped his palms on the front of his pleated khakis, the excitement of seeing her overflowing into his physical. But as he approached the middle of the bridge, he stopped and looked at her. She hadn’t budged, she hadn’t moved and his heart froze. Why? Why hadn’t she moved, why isn’t she walking towards me? He panicked and now his palms were not moist from excitement, but fear, for his world would end if she did not choose him. He ran towards her and just when he was about to step off the bridge and next to her, he stopped.
“My love, why aren’t you joining me on the bridge, do you not love me?” he asked. She stood there and looked at him and blinked those big hazel eyes.
“My darling, I do love you. I love you more than you will ever know.” And with her jumbo-sized words filled with empty promises, his love tank was full again. And so, he began again. He asked her to join him on the bridge, he made promises to her of how happy she would be with him.
She stood there and watched him do all the work to convince her to join him on the bridge. She watched him try to convince her to love him. Even between the ‘I love you’s and ‘you’re the love of my life,’ she still didn’t join him. And all the energy he exerted to convince her that she should love him flew right past her, into the abyss. Because she of all people knew, that she would never be able to love him like he loved her. She didn’t want to join him on that bridge, or any bridge as she was still trying to figure out how to cross the street alone, but for whatever reason, she would never tell him the truth.
So she stood there on the edge of that bridge and watched him try over and over again.
And he stood there on the bridge, empty and exhausted, and every single time he would turn around to walk way, she would throw out the crumbs for him, just enough so that he would turn back around and try once again.
And for whatever reason, he took them.
The state of flow requires Carol to recharge in different energy vortexes and ley lines around our world. She can be reached at email@example.com