Photo by Octavio Fossatti on Unsplash

It always feels good in the beginning when you meet someone. You begin to date. There are laughter and giggles, date night, feeling good, and feeling sexy. There are even sexual relations that happen.

Then slowly it begins to fade. Maybe one person retreats back a little. The fire and the sizzle had died down. Now, you think the dish wasn’t best served hot, was it? Maybe you question your actions or non-actions.

Did I do something?
Was it me?
Was it him?
Was it her?

These are all valid questions to ask ourselves. We all go through this stage at one point in our lives. But it’s my turn to ask you; Were they ever a vibrational match?

I recently had a client referred to me by another client. This new client, let’s call her Gabriella, had always questioned her life and her existence. She is what I would call a seeker of truth. Gabriella has had more disagreements than usual with her partner of three years. Given the state of the world and the energetic shifts, experiencing friction with a higher or lower vibrational soul is inevitable.

I explained to her what I am going to explain now about vibrational matches with partners.

Let’s say Gabriella was vibrating on level seven out of ten when she met Joe, her now partner. Ten being the highest vibrational level you can achieve, ascension. When she met Joe over three years ago, he was vibrating on level three out of ten on the frequency scale.

Being the nice and giving soul Gabriella was, she lowered her energetic level to meet Joe. On the other hand, Joe raised up his vibration in the beginning. He wanted to be with Gabriella because she was so nice and different from all the other girls he’s met or dated.

She lowered her energetic fields and he raised his fields to meet at level five.

These are the beginning stages of most relationships. This meeting in the middle could last days, months, or even years. Slowly, Joe slid down the scale of life from a five back to his frequency of three.

Gabriella could feel the shift as she continued to question her existence and her relationship. Was she really happy? Was Joe really happy? Gabriella already lowered her vibrational level to meet him, but now she had to exert more energy to dip lower to pull him up higher. It hurts in all forms to do something like this. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Life is already a series of experiences tied to meanings we give it. Life should be enjoyed, not hurt so much. What an experience to learn from.

Throughout their relationship, Gabriella had used more energy into making it work versus living her best life vibrating at her usual seven frequency. Joe is going to be Joe. He was fine vibrating at a lower frequency.

Perhaps he wasn’t truly fine, but it wasn’t up to Gabriella to make that decision. Oh no, that decision was Joe’s and Joe’s alone.

Imagine meeting someone who is already vibrating at the same frequency as you. Sounds like heaven right?

When you meet someone who is internally vibrating at the same frequency as you, it will become effortless. There’s no need to put much work in it because you are a match. There will always be disagreements and relationship issues, but it will be easier to plow through them together.

Gabriella is now realigning her energy to focus on her life. To get herself back up to vibrating at her usual seven frequency. She has more awareness of how much time she had spent vibrating in a lower field to match Joe’s.

For me to watch her redirect her energy on herself is a beautiful thing. We celebrated in our last session.

As for Joe, Joe can make the decision to begin expanding his life himself. Maybe he will meet Gabriella later in the future and their lives together will be effortless instead of being filled with so much pain. But for now, both of them will be making healthier choices based upon what their souls need, not one anothers’.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. If you meet or are with someone who is not a vibrational match, but who is willing to put in the work to evolve together, this is also a match made in heaven.

For an individual to evolve takes a lot of work and effort. In partnership, it takes more work and effort because there are two souls. To ascend to a higher degree together requires effort.

If you find yourself wanting, wishing, forcing, and/or demanding in your relationships, friendships and the like; ask yourself, “Are we a vibrational match?”

I send you my love.

In Blessed Oneness.

Carol Dao is the author of, “Holy Sage for the Soul: Spirit Releasement Stories Based on True Events.” She is also an international healer and accepts clients on a case by case basis. Please visit for more information or for session requests. As the state of flow requires her to recharge in different energy vortexes and ley lines around our world, she can only be reached by email.

I write about practical spirituality and things that go bump in the night. Buy my book, Holy Sage for the Soul

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store